And the second...

Lots of things tonight, [insert witty and clever name for readerbase]. Since I got past that awkward first post, I am now free to ramble about whatever the hell I want to!

First of all, I have a faint wish to be a game dev. once more. So I've decided to enter The Escapist's Stonking Great Video Game Contest. Because Zero Punctuation and Yahtzee are pretty cool. But I don't know the first damned thing about making a game...So if anyone that happens upon this happens to know about making a web-browser flash-based game, throw me a line.

Secondly, I am going to dedicate tonight's update to a game very close to my heart...And by close to my heart, I mean it's tolerable enough for me to play consistently.

This obscure game is a free, online game provided by Alaplaya, called S4 League. The name stands for Stylish eSper Shooting Sports. Now, I'm not one to normally criticize names ((yes I am)), but I have to say, that's an...awkward name, at best. I hate it when people take a random letter out of a word and capitalize it to make a suitably not-retarded acronym. It's like cheating all of the people who came up with a name that DOESN'T sound retarded when it's made into an acronym.

...Anyway, the gameplay is broken down like this: you are thrown into a map on a team (alpha or beta) in one of two modes: Deathmatch or Touchdown. Deathmatch is kill the other team more than they kill you. Very complex. Touchdown...is football. Grab the ball (Fumbi*) from the center and run it to the opposite team's goal post. Kind of a pain. The nifty thing about this particular game is that you can do all sorts of cool acrobatics (wall jumping and dashing left/right, chiefly). This also means you might get beaten down terribly by people who are better at jumping than you. Or worse, they may be able to get 2-second scores on certain maps, which is really just arse.


*These are Fumbis. Creepy little buggers, eh? What's worse is that, when you grab them, they become just a floating head.

Which brings me to the next part of this game: weapons and skills. At any one time you can have up to three weapons and a skill. You must have AT LEAST a weapon and a skill to play a match. Which is a natural process of elimination for the people that don't figure that shit out. *clears throat*

HEY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BUY CLOTHING FIRST IN S4 LEAGUE TO MAKE YOUR CHARACTER LOOK COOL.

Ahem. Now that we've dealt with the lesser-minded... I do enjoy this game because it's balanced based on skill. Sure there's a few cheap weapons and skills, and definite ways to exploit them, but when you compare it to, say, World of Warcraft's ridiculous PvP, it is much, much more fair. There are cheap things, but when you learn how people exploit them, it's just a matter of skill to beat them. Anyways, since this is an ONLINE game experience, I'm going to polish this off with a few stories I collected yesterday and today.

Just for you.

First of all, let's start off with a guy who we're going to call UnoriginalName111. He was on my team, and was so terribly stuck up his own arse, he kept flaunting his own awesomeness and was calling out somebody on the opposing team for lagging when we were losing. If he has time to be casually chatting, you'd think he would have time to go score us a few points or something.

Not to say this guy wasn't carrying his own weight or anything. If we looked at the team score for my team, it'd go something like this

UnorignalName111
XXXXX
XXXXX
XXXXX
Chrysocollus
XXXXX

So yeah, doing a hell of a lot better than I was. But was still being a cocky douchebag, so I decided I ought to give him my own brand of justice.

Chrys: Hey, for a guy whose name is as unoriginal as yours...
UnoriginalName111: Oh yeah? What about it?
Chrys: You're awfully stuck up your own ass. ^^
UnorignalName111: Yeah? Well at least I'm not shit. Up your DPS. ((Haha, he used the acronym "DPS" in S4 League! Hahahaha!))
Chrys: Jeez, everything is shit. I'm shit, you're shit, the world is shit.
UnoriginalName111: You can go be shit by yourself. Oh, and Chrys? You're an arse.

And here is where I came up with my witty, brilliant comeback.

Chrys: Why, yes. I am an ass.
Chrys: And it takes one to know one.
UnoriginalName111: lol what are you, 5?
Chrys: At least I can admit I'm an ass.

And his response?

UnoriginalName111: I'm an unfriendly person.

The understatement astounds me.

~`~

Something funny that happened earlier tonight. A guy we'll call "BonesXPrimate" is in three of the same matches as I am in a row. The first two, my team loses and his team wins. In the second one, however, we manage a few points, which provokes this terrifying quote:

BonesXPrimate: I'm angry now.
BonesXPrimate: You have provoked the reaoer.
BonesXPrimate: Reaper.

The match after, and his team is losing to mine by an astounding 5 points by halftime. To which he says...

BonesXPrimate: Meh, I have to go.
BonesXPrimate: Mom's kicking me off anyhow...

Now, it might just be me, but this kid has gone from "You have provoked the reaper" to "My mom is kicking me off the computer". I'm sorry, it might just be me, but even as I'm rewriting it a few hours later, I'm still cracking up about it.

Finally, a humorous story involving work following me home like a fucking STALKER:

"AngryWhopper has joined the room."
Chrys: YOU ARE NAMED
Chrys: AFTER A BURGER
Chrys: FROM THE PLACE I WORK.
AngryWhopper: I KNOW.
RandomGuy: Burger King?
Chrys: ((Oh shit, they're following me.))

Hey anyone who's reading this, how's the wallpaper? Good? Bad? Meeeh? Lemme know.

Want to tell this author what you think, but you don't want anyone else to see it? Think she's full of it and need to set her straight? Want to worship the ground she walks on? Well, good luck with that last one, but you can email Chrys at catharticgamer@yahoo.com and at least tell her what you think.