Waaaugh

Getting kinda late, eh? Anyways. The reason I'm here so late is because I picked up Torchlight today. It's an adorable little Diablo clone with obvious Fable and World of Warcraft elements thrown in. It's NOT Diablo, but that's probably a good thing because I played the fuck out of Diable. And Diablo II. And when Diablo III comes out...well...we don't need to go there.

So, for today's post, before I go romp around merrily in fairyland, I want to introduce you to the set of classes you can play in Torchlight. For good or bad, there's only three, and they're somewhat stereotypical, although there's a little bit of a unique twist to each one.

You know what big hands mean.

First we have the destroyer...barbarian...thing...Yeah, Destroyer. All like uh..."DESTROYER SMASH." You know the drill with that stuff. Apparently he channels the spirits of his ancestors, but really, dead peopel aren't gonna kill anything (lawl zombies) so that's a null point. Maybe we'll see more of this guy later.

BOOBS!

Then we have the amazon vanquisher. Evidently the holiest (if you know what I mean) character, she sets out to try and cleanse the Torchlight mines and to keep her breasts from popping out of her shirt. She can use guns or preferably a bow (from what I've seen). I wanted to go traps with her, but then I read that traps suck, and now I don't want to play her. So maybe more on her later, too. But the main focus for tonight is...

A TWAT!

Here we have the infamous twat-- I mean, alchemist. But he is a twat. I mean, you run this guy out of mana, and he'll be all like "I don't have enough MANA." Like a...like a bratty teenage girl or something. Calm the fuck down man, take a mana pot or something. Oh uh...for the uninformed...Mana pot = mana potion. That magical (usually) blue liquid you drink so you can still burn stuff. You know.

So this is the guy I've been playing for the past few hours. He's a spellslinger, the kind that shoots for a while, downs a mana pot, and...continues shooting, until everything is dead. Unless you want to play him as a pet lord, which is the MOST BORING WAY TO PLAY IN THE WORLD. It's just as bad as playing a Warlock or Hunter in World of Warcraft because it just gets so damn boring. I can't even fathom why anyone would want to play that way unless they had a pre-leveled character that could already make like 9001 pets to run around and kill everything. And by that point you've bought a character and YOU LOSE.

Anways. So uh...nuking stuff is fun. Um...I really don't have anything else to say about it than that. Oh wait.

Puppy~~~

Want to tell this author what you think, but you don't want anyone else to see it? Think she's full of it and need to set her straight? Want to worship the ground she walks on? Well, good luck with that last one, but you can email Chrys at catharticgamer@yahoo.com and at least tell her what you think.