More Papering Mario

Man I'm tired. Is it September yet? I'm losing my sense of time. I feel old. Who are you? Who am I? Why do I smell funny?
I found myself talking in a British accent without realizing it in English earlier. I'm a little worried.

Hello again everyone! I have a funny story for you today to tell as I was playing Paper Mario, and then a little bit more on a semi-serious note. So let's get this started, because I'm trying to write this in 10 minutes!

So the last time we left off with Paper Mario, I had finished the first segment of the game and rescued the first star. Well, now it's off to the desert to rescue the second star. First, I want to introduce you to my new sidekick: Parakarry!

He's...well, he's a little ditzy paratroopa that loses letters a lot. So in return for his services, I get to help him find these letters. I feel a little bit taken advantage of, but he carries me places I can't normally go, so I suppose it's fair. Note that this doesn't necessarily make Kooper useless, just...less useful. No, Kooper has been made obsolete by something FAR more effective.

So you remember that last blog post I did about Paper Mario? The one where I said Bombette was only good for killing one enemy at a time? Well...it held true until I got an upgrade for a sidekick of my choice. Her upgrade is...well, let's just say I found the "Fuck off" button.

It looks like this.

Basically, I use it, and everything on screen not in the air or in a shell...dies. It's pretty fucking awesome. It basically takes Bombette's ability to fuck ONE enemy over and applies it to everything on screen. Really, if I could replenish my flower points (equivalent to mana points, which is strange and disturbing) a little more effectively, I would just go around using it on EVERYTHING. For now I try to just reserve it for when there's a large group of annoying twats I don't want to deal with. This has made me like Bombette tremendously more, in addition to the fact I figured out I could get a free "fuck off" button if I timed it right so she exploded on an enemy.

Most useful prostitute EVER. *ahem*

~`~Semi-serious section warning~`~

I write a blog to entertain. I write it to try and be funny and it's also a tribute to the fact I have loved video games for as long as I can remember. Sure, I didn't play the classics (which is why I have such a huge list to get through), but I really loved the games I did play. I remember playing stuff like Dragon Warrior on the NES (actually...that's really all. I was never a fan of Duck Hunt.) I played the original Sonic on the Genesis when I was too young to know what it was like to beat a game. I grew up playing the gamecube, and titles like Sonic Adventure 2 Battle, Bomberman, Metroid Prime, and Custom Robo (I'm forgetting some, but oh well.)

But that love of gaming is unrelated to whether I'm funny or not. It's unrelated to whether I have a talent for writing or not. So this is sort of an experiment, too. I want to see if people will come here to voluntarily read this shit I spew out every few days, like I have a bad, recurrent case of the flu. Of course, I don't know how to measure this, so I get stuck wondering: Am I actually writing decently? Am I missing my audience's sense of humor completely?

Well, fuck, I have no idea. I'm done writing, comment and go away.

Want to tell this author what you think, but you don't want anyone else to see it? Think she's full of it and need to set her straight? Want to worship the ground she walks on? Well, good luck with that last one, but you can email Chrys at catharticgamer@yahoo.com and at least tell her what you think.